10 types of love you must have experienced

Love- the unexplained abstract noun even after generations of Shakespeare, John Keats, Emily Dikinson. Ask a seasoned dater or a couple way into their 60th year of marriage, its definition remains undefined. Ask yourself too. I bet you will stammer into making zero sense before you actually come with an appealing explanation. However elusive, it has lingered around for a long time and will continue to do so until kingdom comes. Love has variants. While 10 is the number I came up with, there may be more giving the number of miniMUM lies in the state’s politics a run for its money.( Hope that’s clandestine enough). Here are the ten types of love you should have experienced in your life.

And yeah! Happy Valentine’s week!

1. Platonic love:

This is the Manmohan Singh of loves! You don’t know where, when and why it exists….. but it just makes its presence. The relationship that exists between siblings, cousins or even friends depicts platonic love. You don’t feel a romantic or creepy craze, but still yearn for their presence when they are away. The bond is very piquant and concrete that it grows stronger with due experience and proximity.

2. Crushes

This is like our milk tooth. Everyone would have had at least one! The mere mention of the word shall backtrack your memories to the first of the train of crushes( everyone has a train of them right, or was it just me!). The first crush remains a very memorable experience. It is one beautiful, for the Potterheads “an Emma Watson” memory. It is one nostalgia at which you can smile to yourself again and again. It is that feeling that drives you to your school, your college or your workplace. Ever experienced prolonged imaginations of dating and wedlock, hopes of late night calls but limited to thoughts that become the ambience of your subconscious mind. This is also where you feel obsessed in a good way over her. It is where your vision reveals only your crush and is narrowed down at the sides with virtual blinkers when you talk to your love-apparent. You crack the dumbest joke yet you laugh the hardest when your crush is around which reveals the jerk you are. But according to you, by doing so you have established yourself as the Russell Peters of your group in front of her. Sweaty hands and stammering seem to be the best body language you can adopt while talking to your crush. You intend to plan to perfection, opportunities to talk to her. The best experience that neither hurts nor gives you the fulfilment you actually want. That’s a crush.

3. Limerence

This is not exactly a crush but still really close to that experience. It is the kind of fascination you have for someone way out of your league or range. It may be the fanaticism you have on an actor, the queen bee of your college, a senior in high school. This isn’t a growing intimacy for physical aesthetics or character but with regard to one’s talent, one’s eloquent skills, one intelligence(yeah people do fall for that! I have explained it at the end of this paragraph). It has happened to you if have fallen for someone because of the mere expertise they have on your interest or passion. Remember the vehement rush you expel to defend your favourite artist? Remember the time you fell head over heels for a person with an enchanting voice? Or remember the time you fell for a passionate dancer whose foot loose made your lose your senses? This type of love is not pertinent to the gender but a strong endearing feeling to their talents or the endearing vanity of the person such as a college queen bee, or simply put, college beauty. You don’t fantasise dates and weddings here, but this persists as a beautiful feeling in its own way.
As we Indians owe our ancestry and a lot of pride to Arybhatta and Chanakya, who knows, we may find ourselves falling for a computer geek or a mathematician. Ryan gosling or Ben Afflick may be the ideals for Hollywood fans but here it is the numbers game of the American Mappillais that the brides-to-be fantasize. Such a crush weaved out of mere fascination is called a Limerence.

4. Selfish love

This is the narcissistic love where your partner is head over heels in love with you and you in turn head over heels in love with…. yourself. A selfish love is when you love the other person for social vanity, personal benefit, and a pretentious desire to flaunt your domination over your win. Here, one is a beneficiary while the other is the suppressed unconditional lover. This type of love never lives long! The beneficiary displays a disgusting sense of effrontery. It is where he/she gives a slew of commands over the counterpart and the other serves it with unconditional interest. Two schools of social benefits arise from this type of love. One is where the beneficiary arises to social eminence displaying a sense of dominance. The other is the gossip that gets passed around by people who can look through the selfish love of the beneficiary which the unconditional lover fails to. This type of love is extremely obnoxious.

5. Unrequited love

This type of love is one that has spurred the creativity of many writers and poets. This is the well-known devadas’ one-side love. A love, with strong desire to be expressed that it flows down as ink, tears etc. This love builds character, respect for the other and when you finally overcome this feeling you rise out of your shell to explore the greater good. You shall always remain thankful for the bitter experience it gave you. But when you fall unrequited for a person, you are engulfed by a craving for one on one meetings. You never let the other know about your love. It is either a fear that withdraws your confidence to profess or some random reason. However there are happy phases, there are sad phases, there are furious moments arising due to pangs of possessive feelings. Though it has many heart breaks and depressing moments it is one love that makes you respect that feeling. It teaches the unconditional lover you have to be. It makes you well deserved to the most complete form of love.

6.Obsessive love

This is the love where one partner is too clingy and obsessive over the other. Ever clinged onto a person that you cannot manage to live without a few feet away from them. You want that person to be around only with you, only going out with you, only to be seen around with you. If by any chance, your partner is an extrovert, then your partner is done for! The obsession developed by one over the other leads to insecurity and eventually becomes a mania. It is as if you cannot survive without the other and their presence means everything to you and that is all you need. At its height, your partner gets scared out of his/her wits due to the obsession which may lead to spurts of rage from you. A safe obsessive love is where you give enough space to the other, have your own time and be at your best when your partner needs you and not when he/she simply wants you.

7. Aww love:

This is the love in its T20 format. Its fast, flamboyant and short-lived. Remember the time when you were suddenly flushed with pangs of overwhelming attraction towards the cutest of the kind. The flush you feel on seeing a baby, a puppy or rather Nazriya Nazim….. kinda rings a bell, doesn’t it? This is the manifestation of aww love.

8. Same sex love

Now…. Now. This is no way related to the article 377 or the rainbow stained profile pictures. This is the type of love which is inherent in us towards our best friends. There is no cuddling, no pizzas and ice creams over blankets. This is the passion that comes as a result of prolonged bonding with people such as school day buddies, neighbours etc. Ever had a bromance(brotherly romance); the innocent love the guys share with their friends that scares their parents out of their wits? That’s same sex love.

9. Romantic love

This type of love is the fulfilment at its zenith…the all time expectation of any human on Earth. The never-ending race of expressing one’s love towards the other. The beginning of every proposal and the period that follows is a perfect manifestation of this love. This feeling explains the age-old “butterflies in your stomach” expression. Everything in the world appears perfect to you. A drugged state with the level of love hormones at their apogee, a trance where you are totally into your partner. You know nothing can take your partner away from you. Your friends can totally see the side of you that your partner has brought to life! You believe you have fulfilled your greatest desire and that your partner provides you with every reason for you to lead a confident, healthy and more importantly, a life. Ever experienced this? The ones with this variant! Long live!. The parents of this variant. Let live!

10. Unconditional love

Blessed are those who experience this love. It is the love of our soul and mind. This is where there are no regrets but only repairs and refurbishment. You give everything you have with absolutely no conditions. Here is when you tolerate all the whimsicalities, eclecticism and chauvinism of your partner.
It need not be limited to couples. The divine and uncompromising 7th sense your parents profess on you, once again, tolerating all your whimsicalities, eclecticism and insane demands is what this love can be explained with. This is where North falls for South. Beauty falls for Beast. Unlike poles attract each other. Black falls for White. Boy falls for boy. Girl falls for  girl. I fall for… H1B visa!
Recollect Sleeping beauty, Cindrella and all the fairy tales ending with “happily ever after”? This is what this love will definitely lead you into.

To have this type of love you’ll have to offer everything that you hold back. With no regrets, no conditions, just fall for the beauty that lies in the truth of the eyes of the beholder. Give everything you have and the aesthetics of this emotion will engulf you in plenty. Like Christina Perri’s words be ready to love your partner for a thousand years and a thousand more, because that is what this love will make you do!

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