Enigma clouding all senses of direction,I stare into the electronic document I befriended 5 months back. The patient listener it has been, to all my views,opinions and rants and sarcasm. My over the moon roommate who has successfully completed a stint at the placement drive in my college brainwashed me to order pizza online . I anguish over my decision to stick onto err,certain decisions ,that have led me to the situation here.
Regardless of many people who have tried to muster in me the hope for a better tomorrow, I still wish that optimistic day would dawn over me soon. Maybe if I had done certain things more soon…. Maybe if had been a better critic of my priorities…. Maybe if I had chosen the right person for the right task… Maybe if I had chosen the right guide…. Maybe if I had been the right guide to ….. Maybe if I had true chances to hope more…
I know as a writer I have to be patient to wade through the sea of competition. But that virtue is no longer a suitable candidate in any ambitious resume. Controlled impatience would be a better quality in this Ninja-paced world. Such a virtue makes you more ambitious and provides you with a belligerency that even tames time! Time waits for no man has paved way to no man waits for his time which is probably the contemporary proverb.
Any high school kid or a verbal student given the task of comprehending my lines would feel the sense of ignominy prevailing in this prose. The popular belief in society is that writers should always have pain tainted across their face. The “smell the fart act” of Friends fame Matt Le Blanc is a vague description of the society’s image of a writer’s look but an intense macho-man is what I can best describe the look as. Maybe the society believes that tragedy is the new cool of vogue literature.
However, that did not lead me to this entropy of melancholy. With expectations becoming rambunctious at a rate directly proportional to time I begin to wonder . Where all avatars of scary visions finally beginning to take form? Is my belief contrary to what I had believed four years back? Is my career alright to continue? Is the man holding my pen a worthy opportunist ?Am I too hopeless even to hope? Are there enough opportunities to lay my hope on? Will the ruler of both celestial and terrestrial terrain grant me respite from all the hard work? Will he pity this prosaic creature? Will he look down and say” you have done enough and this now its pay time”? I can just hope so!