The blessing behind breakups

“Look. If you can’t go out with me,fine. I don’t have any reason to trust you anymore.In fact,I hate to look at your face. The mere sight of you generates pangs of anger in me.Let’s stop seeing each other.I don’t think I can take this anymore. I have more important things to attend to. Let’s break up!”

The above words occurring with uncanny spontaneity mess up the giver and receiver of those words.Breakups are painful periods dissolving all the sugar-coated moments of life into a vortex of negativity. Dawn will turn to dusk,misery being the master and loneliness the king. You conjure images of the failed lover in you, painting a picture of an unworthy you.  You tend to divulge the details of the happy moments and how they culminated in a much ado about nothing. A constant quarrel occurs within yourself sending you to a randomness of thoughts. Ego lives like a king suppressing all feelings seeking to reconcile. In this case, the ego is right as staying away from each other is the whole point of breakups.

People living through breakups emerge stronger than they actually were. This fact has always remained elusive to me. I mean, if love is the most powerful emotion shouldn’t it crush you? If love is a key shouldn’t the loser find himself lost? If love is a guiding star  shouldn’t its explosion cause a black hole, dutifully sucking out all the happiness from you? If love is a flame then shouldn’t it burn you all the way to hell? With all the negativity surrounding it shouldn’t this apparent blessing be a cruel curse?

There are enough drunkards , Taylor swifts, to rant about the pain post-breakups. Breakups are in fact strong pivot points in life. They can be considered as alarm bells with sonorous sounds to renew yourself.Let me divulge on certain tried and tested methods by which people have emerged stronger .

Passion:

Pain thrives when there is hunger. This hunger can be ubiquitous. Hunger creeps in when there is starvation in any form such as food to love. Hunger during breakups can be battled with plenty of passion as diet.To empty the contents of the past you need to find out your passion,delve into them deeply and focus on them.Identifying your passion,your hobby,your innate interests can provide you with the much-needed focus of to get diverted.Passion is something that is always  your first love. It has always been with you,waiting and wanting  to be dated. Once your apparent true love fails, embrace things that you have always loved to do. Spend time with your innate skills. Understand them. Show them your unconditional concern. This time the love you show is a rebound. It hits you back with showers of development. It possesses you to such an extent that you’ll find the necessary belligerence to fight them pangs of pain in you. Dance away you pain, write away your pain,paint your misery. Remember,the way to evade the past is to embrace your passion.

 Get into good habits.

Now that you don’t have to make late-night calls, why not utilize the time in a more sensible way?Nature can heal you in an innumerable amount of ways.You also save a lot of physical and emotional energies that were getting consumed in an exhausting relationship.Use this time to improve on things that need to be improved upon.You can start with your own mistakes in the relationship.Are there any flaws in your nature that need to be fixed?What did you learn from the relationship?Are there bad habits that need to be changed? If yes, now would be a very good time to do it.

Start remembering your purpose in life.

Yes, you had a purpose before you fell in love.Even if you didn’t have a goal, now would be a very good time to make one.Some of the best goals could be one of the following: Don’t fall for the wrong person again, try to wait for the right one or filter people more cautiously.Whatever they may be, find your goals and start working on them. It will be hard initially.Your doggedness about your goals will form a concrete wall around you and protect you from a lot of bullsh*t in life. And this is not just for post-breakup phase.Even when you are in a relationship, losing track of your goals in life is a very bad idea.View your goals as your umbrella in the rain forest of crazy, broken relationships.It will shelter you and protect you from a lot of unnecessary disappointment.Seriously, you have only one life to live. Chase your dreams, not people.The best people will come into your life when you are becoming stellar and be working toward your dreams.A person who is fulfilling his or her dreams is so much more attractive than a person with a miserable outlook.

Breakups require you to channel your thoughts and actions in the right way. Power your way to positiveness. After all, it’s just a phase in life. Embrace your passion. Seek the purpose if your life. Believe that there is still some good in the world. Finally,just move on in style.

~jcin